the MAN cold

For the last two weeks I have been listening to this sound every single night as I sleep...."uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh" or something like that of a moan. My wonderfully amazing husband does have one downfall. He is the biggest hypocondriac who ever set foot on this planet.

It starts out with him scouring the medicine cabinet for Airborne. Five seconds later he tells me he's sick. His head hurts, his neck aches, his throat is scratchy, and oh by the way, "do we have any cough drops?" For the next five days he will continue to take the largest dosage of Sudafed every three hours and then comment on how it doesn't work. It amazes me because when I take a Sudafed I am bouncing off the walls and it works like magic for any cold. I'm pretty certain he has become immune to it. If it actually does develop into a cold he will then share with me that his snot has turned green and he's positive he has a sinus infection. I know, probably way too much information but just sympathize with me. This is what I have to listen to. Last month he was rubbing his neck and thought his lymph nodes were swollen. Instantly he announced it must be lymphoma, warning me of the seriousness of this type of cancer.

His current ailment is a cough. It very closely resembles a smokers cough or a very old man cough. Dry, hacking, and I have to admit, SO annoying. I am positive he has already googled or web-Md'd his symptoms, probably secretly hoping to discover that he indeed does have some unusual disease involving a never ending cough. But unfortunately to his suprise it is just a cough. It will go away. So for now, the rest of us will just have to embrace the MAN cold, and somehow find a way to fall asleep listening to "uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh".